Gladys Reunited: A Personal American Journey by Sandi Toksvig

Author:Sandi Toksvig [Toksvig, Sandi]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, General, Entertainment & Performing Arts, Women, Performing Arts, Theater
ISBN: 9780751533286
Google: dJNnLBDEkCgC
Amazon: 0751533289
Publisher: Time Warner
Published: 2003-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

The next morning I was buzzing on a combination of caffeine and Sleep Rite. I didn’t know whether to sleep or salsa. The TV offered me five channels direct to God, two sets of cartoons, a kid’s movie, CNN and an opportunity to pay to see Sorority Shower Cam. I opted for CNN where someone was presenting a serious analysis of the problem with chad droppings. I was hung-over, fat and sad. The perfect state to be in on a journey in which I was questioning everything in my life. The hotel had provided a magazine called Appalachian Lift that promised me ‘History, Humour and Culture’. It also had a long article about Margaret Mitchell, about her life and her good husband who brought in the ready money while she wrote. I decided I wanted a husband who would look after me and leave me at home to write the one great novel for nine years. I certainly know that I have it in me to be a recluse. I have had to be jolly for so long that it might be quite pleasant not to bother for a bit.

CNN moved on to more arguing in the Supreme Court about whether the re-counts count. A very angry, very white Republican woman appeared.

‘You’d have to beat me and drug me to get me to believe these re-counts are being done fairly.’

‘We are good people doing a good job,’ countered a very sensible black woman.

Elsewhere, Dick Cheney was in hospital with chest pains and Bush had boils on his head. Those Republican boys didn’t seem to be able to stand the strain of the vote counting. How well we would all sleep in our beds if they got to run the place..

I went to the wedding breakfast where I tried some unspeakable food. Lori told me not to be so judgemental.

There are certain foods,’ she said, ‘which you have to grow up with in order to like. Comfort food.’

I think she was right. I also think that unless you are on a major highway towards ‘carb-loading’ then grits and biscuits with gravy have no place on the morning table. I put both on my plate from the buffet because I like to have a go at everything culinary. I have in my time eaten both locust and zebra and enjoyed neither but I’m proud of my attempts to eat local. Grits are pure white with a thin porridge texture and a slight seediness. They taste of absolutely nothing. When president-elect William Howard Taft visited Atlanta in 1909 he was served a thirty-pound barbequed possum and only took one bite, so I was not the first person to decline to eat Southern delicacies.

For reasons I can’t fathom, the same people who had sat with us the night before and not really spoken came and sat with us now and didn’t really speak. There were no assigned places. They didn’t need to sit with us but perhaps they too didn’t know many people. It

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